When death stands beside you
by TeamICan'tDecide
Summary: When Jasper loses control on his first day of school, and changes an innocent young girl all hell breaks loose. With a deadly newborn, the Quileute werewolves inches away from tearing everybody apart and crazy feelings for young Lexi Nicole Brown can he still handle his own life?
1. Chapter 1

**Stephanie Meyer own all characters, beside Lexi!**

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School. God knows how much I hate it. Pretending that we were normal, while we were in fact far from it. Keeping up a mask that seemed to suffocate us. The blood made it only worse, teasing the vampire in my. And of course there were teenagers who had to be so clumsy that they even tripped over their own shadow. Like Isabella Swan, who tripped and grazed her knee in front of Edward, leaving her blushing like an idiot. And bleeding like she had been stabbed with a machete or something. It was comical to watch how she desperately tried to keep her balance, but failed. Some smelled better than others, and some smelled absolutely horrible by the lack of a good personal hygiene. Add the uber-boring lessons and in a second changing, confused feelings and you have the reason why I hate being present at school. Carlisle always sent his adoptive children to school to appear normal, while were - once again - a bunch of vampires who weren't even supposed to exist. The younger we pretended to be, the longer we could stay somewhere. Rosalie, Emmett and I were Seniors, we would be graduating this year. We could pretend that we were juniors, but we weren't absolutely interested in that. School was just a way of keeping us occupied. Rosalie and Emmett shared my opinion about school. Edward and Alice were juniors, they had the misfortune to study longer. Currently we were in Forks. A small, rainy town where everyone seemed to know each other. Therefore it was great news that we were newcomers. Technically, we weren't new, 77 years ago we had already lived here. It all started as a normal school day. One that I had already experienced several times. One that promised to be a boring, endless during torture.

It was lunchtime. The time that each student filled his hungry stomach with food that smelled like it was rotten for weeks, and so it looked too. It was also the time that each student eagerly gossiped about us. They whispered but they could've just screamed as well because we could hear them anyway. Some thought we were drop dead gorgeous, others thought we were weird because we talked to no one. But they all had one thing in common: they admired our beauty. The features of ours face, our hair, our body, our clothes. Everyone had his own straight opinion about us. It didn't matter what they thought of us, because we didn't care. But it was terrible to hear their whispers. I couldn't imagine what it would be if you also had a look inside their head, as my brother Edward the mind reader, could.

"It's annoying." He replied in answer to my unspoken thoughts. As he did many times. That was really annoying.

"Hey Edward, what did I told you about privacy?"

He chuckled: "That it shall not be violated, and I answered you that I can't turn off my gift. Learn to live with it." It was the only thing we could do, learning to live with Edward. Although it was not always easy. He always had to had the last word, being a smartass. It usually ended in a playful fight, where ofcourse he cheated and won but only because of his gift. Cheating bastard. He grinned: " Don't start insulting!"

A group of giggling girls pointed quite explicit at us, Rosalie gave them a deadly look. She gave her own twist on 'if looks could kill'. Emmett was hers and every girl would know that. Not that an ordinary, simple human could be compared to Rosalie. Alice was insensitive to things like that because she knew Edward loved her more than anything. He would never leave her. There was no one at my side. No soul mate that I could protect, no one to love. No girl to hold and to adore. But I wasn't desperate, love isn't a thing you should force. I wasn't planning on forcing things.

The giggles grew louder, more annoying. Nine girls had already come to me to ask me out. I shook them off one by one as politely as possible, some had an iron determination and didn't want to give up. It made me annoyed because they didn't stay away from me. It was just simply annoying.

The doors of the canteen opened, which promised to welcome more hungry students.

And that's when I smelled it. An ultra-feminine scent. The fire in my throat roared wildly. The monster inside me fought to be released. I had never smelled anything like that, a sweet, heavenly scent. It was the hell for me. The devil seduced me with it. A magical mix of extraordinary things I had already smelled and merged into the best scent someone could possess: lilies, mandarin , lime and caramel slightly hinted with roses, vanilla, peppermint and something that could be described as white musk. My fingers gripped the ugly, white lunch table too tightly because a piece of it broke off. Luckily no human saw it.

" Jasper, are you alright?" Alice asked concerned, seeing the pain written on my face. I ignored her silly, bell- like voice and concentrated on te smell.

It was good that my neck couldn't break through the brutal force with which I turned my head to see the face that accompanied this delicious smell. Even Isabella Swan who had smelled very, very lovely wasn't a match for this… person. It was not what I expected. It was indeed a girl. A young girl with a small stature. She was definitely not what I expected. What did I expect ? A tall blonde with a perfectly normal face. Her pale ivory complexion was complimented with round hazel eyes and plump rosy - red lips, which looked as if they had kissed for hours . She was roughly 5ft2 tall. She was roughly estimated three inches taller than Alice. She was shorter than her gothic friend, whose scent burned into my sensitive nose. Too much, too heavy perfume. Her pale face looked even paler by her unusual hair color that attracted attention. Her hair was straight, as straight as it could be. Probably the work of a good straightener, because no single type of hair was naturally that straight. Why did she tortured her hair with a device that burned it? The top of her hair was dark blue, and halfway her long locks falling on her rib cage it began to change into an aquamarine color. She was dressed in a gray T-shirt, black jeans and all-stars that matched the color of her hair. Considering the fact that she was human, she was quite a beautiful thing. Again I breathed in, it was like eating fire. I could stop breathing, but I didn't want to. This scent had to be smelled. And tasted. I heard her soft, warm voice that could be compared to that of Esme. It didn't fit her extraordinary appearance .

"You can go sit down Ivy. I don't feel so good, I need fresh air. It's probably the homemade tacos of my brothers girlfriend. That bitch can cook even worse than you." She talk to her friend. She turned around and left the cafeteria.

This was my chance. I couldn't resist her. Her scent was sublime and I had to taste it. Edward could read my mind and before my plan could betray me I stood up and went after her. I glanced at my family and saw that Alice's eyes were glassy, she had a vision. In all probability it was about me.

"Jasper, no!" Edward screamed, but it was too late. I already stormed through the hallway, crazed by her scent. The pain in my throat was so bad that it was hard to swallow the venom in my mouth away. It tortured me, screamed at me to drink blood. Her blood. It was the only way to soothe the burning torment in my throat.

Her scent was in the air, even the fresh air of Forks couldn't mask it. She was at the back of the school building, where a bench stood for those who were tired. And where there were also no windows and no one who could see her die.

I saw her. Her lips parted each time she breathed the fresh air deeply in. The beating of her fragile heart boomed in my ears and doubled my thirst. So vivid, so strong, so juicy. And it was all for me.

She didn't realize that there was a monster who could murder her each moment behind her. Her life was going to end in a few seconds. I could no longer restrain my thirst, I had to taste her. She was irresistible. I longed for her.

By the time she realized that she was attacked and she wanted to scream, I already had my hand clamped over her mouth and my teeth drilled in her heavenly neck.

And so she tasted. Heavenly. I was right, only her blood made an end to the pain. It dimmed when the first drop of blood touched my tongue. Of all my victims, she was the best. I drank greedily from her. Her screams of pain were muffled by my hand, and her frantic attempts to free himself were - of course - useless against my superior strength. Through her struggling her shirt came up and showed her flat stomach. My fingers clawed into her creamy, soft skin. She would be a corpse with bruises in the shape of my fingers. I could feel her pain and unlimited anxiety, but it wasn't enough to bring me back to earth. Her blood was like a magnet to me. Everything about her seemed to pull me in. I could feel her warm skin through my clothes, and it was divine. I enjoyed it. Unconsciously I thought about how she must've felt when she would touch me when she or I wasn't dressed in clothes that protected our skin. The feather-light footsteps of my family alerted me, and I grabbed what was mine tighter. I refused to let her go, prepared to fight I stood straighter. She had stopped screaming and her resistance was gone too, I remarked. Strong hands, Emmett's, grabbed my shoulders and pulled me backwards, away from her. I growled, outraged because they wanted to keep me away from the girl. Emmett grabbed my arms and Edward stood in front of me, blocking my view of the girl. Her body was writhing on the ground, Rosalie and Alice bent over her, Alice's hand clamped over her mouth to stop her screaming and Rosalie 's hands on her arms keeping her body tight pressed to the stony ground with ease. Now I realized what I had done. They had pulled me off of her and I didn't finish it. Venom is now spreading through her veins. In fact, she would become one of us. And it was my fault. Her fear and pain was like a slap in my face, I tried to calm her, but I hadn't my own emotions under control.

"Emmett and I will take Jasper to the woods to hunt. You and Rosalie will take care for the girl. Call Carlisle, say it's urgent. Take the road through the woods so no one sees you and hold your hand clamped over her mouth." Edward said to Alice, the serious look on his face betrayed nothing, his feelings however did. He was worried.

Without any effort Alice lifted the girl in her arms and ran off, Rosalie giving me a deadly glare. I suppose I should fear the moment I had to go back home. Edward and Emmett dragged me into the forest. My last view was her heavy trembling body.

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**Hey! **

**So what do you think?**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, I'm back**

**To be clear, the girl on the cover is Lexi Nicole Brown as a vampire. Isn't she pretty?**

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It was chaos. I felt horrible. It was what I deserved. Rosalie had yelled at me for changing the girl, saying that it was my fault if a human found out about us and the Volturi came to rip us apart. Edward did some research in the minds of other teenagers, her gothic friend - Ivy - and the archives of Forks and found out that the girl was none other than the famous Lexi Nicole Brown, the girl who lost both her parents in a tragic car crash at the age of nine, but who miraculously survived it. She lived with her older brother Terry and his girlfriend Valeria. She recently - two weeks ago - turned sixteen. She was a sophomore. Before our little problem upstairs had woken up, it was actually her brother who caused troubles. We used Lexi's phone to send a text saying that she had run away because she hated school and her life. Ofcourse we were smart enough to send the text in front of her house, in case they would trace it. Her clothes were gone to, Alice picked them up. It was the third day his little sister had ran away and he brother was desperate to find her. The police didn't listen to him when he said that running away wasn't something Lexi would do. She was just another teen who hated life and ran away. However, they had spread her picture into the whole state. The last beat of her heart made an end to her terrible pain and the house was no longer filled with her screams. She was now one of us. And it was my fault. A part of me wondered how much she would hate me. The last three days the mood in our house had been very bad. Not because they blamed me for changing Lexi - except for Rosalie, who practically was about to slice my throat open with her manicured nails - but because I blamed myself. It was my venom that ended her human life and pushed her brutally into a new one.

Carefully we entered her room she had been dumped in, by the lack of a better word. The last thing we wanted to do was scaring her, because a scared, insane newborn would destroy Forks. She could jump through the glass and destroy everything she would come across. Newborns were unstable and unpredictable and above all dangerous if they used their brute strength against you. Carlisle, Edward, Emmett and I stood in front of the females ready to protect them from the danger I had created. The room was filled with anger, I could feel it before we had even opened the door. Anger towards the person who had changed her. If only she knew it was me who had done this to her. Edward told me that she had already figured out what she had become. He also told me that she wasn't happy about it. Edward had stormed out of the room, cursing and shaking his head as if his brains were drowning, because it was filled with murderous thoughts coming from her. We all had checked upon her, except me. I didn't want to be confronted with my mistake. Esme had talked to her, saying that it would all be over soon. Carlisle checked if the transformation was going well. Rosalie had brushed her long hair and cleaned the dried blood from where I had bitten her. Alice had dresses her into the latest designer fashion, a ruffled lavender colored blouse, a tight black skirt and dark purple heels. She had to kick me out of the room, because the girl would be naked and her body wasn't destined for my eyes. I felt like a pervert. Lexi seemed to be always present in my mind, I blamed it on the fact that I was her killer and it was the guilt who was slowly gnawing at me. When Emmett was with her, he talked bullshit. He was going to have a lot of fun with her, teaching her how to fight and play a vamperized version of the game baseball. My mind could see the scene, Emmett learning Lexi how to fight. It was comical imagination. But I suppose it could work, if Alice - who was three inches shorter than Lexi - could fight, Lexi could possibly do it to. But there was one big difference, Alice saw your moves coming, so she could anticipate and Lexi was small and not gifted with the ability to see the future.

As soon as we had entered the room, she had become aware of the possible threat that surrounded her. She shot up from Carlisle hospital table where she laid on, and crouched down, her new given instincts taking it over from her. We stayed calm but the tension was tangible in the air. She blinked a few times, adapting her sight. I knew how overwhelming it was when you woke up the first time, seeing the light again after what seemed to have been an endless darkness, seeing the dust in the air that a human eye couldn't detect, hearing sounds from miles away. I couldn't help thinking that she had become dazzling. I had seen her in her human form an now in her strong, new one. The difference was clearly visible. She was marvelous. I had to admit that she hadn't been an ugly human but now as a vampire she would earn a lot of ' wows' and admiring glances. Her skin had become pale like ours. Her lips were plump and had a special red-rosy like color, like someone had kissed her roughly for a long time. I brutally shook the thought of me kissing her out of my head, but Edward had already picked it up. He looked at me as if I was crazy, trying to figure out where that thought had come from. Before he could do that, I had to understand it first and I couldn't. I focused back on Lexi. Her button nose wrinkled slightly as she smelled us. The hazelnut color of her eyes was replaced by a blood red one. The red was to vivid for her face. She - like all vampires - had small bags under her eyes in the lightest shade of purple, making her look like as if she had never seen a pillow in her life. In a strange way it suited her more than others, it made her prettier. Her limbs were smooth and supple even when she stood still. She was simply graceful. Her small, young face was framed with wavy, healthy looking hair that reached till her ribs. I had been right, it wasn't naturally straight, it was wavy. It was now a very dark shade of brown, almost looking black. The color was perfect for her pretty face. The striking blue had been honestly an insult for her face, screaming at people to judge her before they got to know her. Lexi snarled. She looked like a trapped animal, her eyes wild, filled with anger and fear for us. Even when newborns were scared, they didn't back down. Her lip curled up, showing her sharp white teeth. A roaring sound built itself up in her chest. It was a newborn thing, she reacted like we all had done when we awoke. I send a wave of calmness at her. Her head shot in in my direction and as if she had sensed it she pointed an accusing finger at me. As if she knew it was me. Her anger grew explosively. Carlisle decided to step in before she would give her newborn attack a try.

" Lexi, I know this is all new to you and -" She interrupted him by screaming ' you' at me. Her eyes were fixed on my face and I knew that she somehow figured it out that I was the one who changed her. I didn't need Edwards gift for that.

" She figured it out." He muttered. _No shit Sherlock!_ I thought.

Lexi was smart, I wondered how she found out the truth. She hadn't seen my face, so what could it possibly be?

" She remembered your smell." Edward said. Lexi watched us with a confused expression on her face, probably wondering why freaky Edward was talking to himself.

" You did this to me! You're going to pay. You asshole, you monster!" The truth blurted out of her mouth, her angry voice sounded like the rippling of a brook mixed with the sound of a knife tapping against a crystal wine glass. It was warm and relaxing. My ears welcomed it. Her voice betrayed that she was on the edge of crying, broken because she was thrown into a life she only knew out of movies. I broke her. I had to live with the thought that I created a vampire who could kill hundreds, thousands of people. It was as if I killed them myself. There was blood on my hands.

Like a bullet she shot forward, her attack aimed for my neck. She was blinded by anger, hatred and thirst. Her hands were formed into claws, trying to grab my throat. I didn't want to hurt her but I didn't want to feel her inhuman strength either. I placed my hands against her chest - shuddering from the contact - and pushed her away. She fell against Carlisle's table, taking it down with her. The metal bended by the impact of her fall. Her face twisted with anger and determination for my head. I grinned, she didn't stand a chance. In one swift movement she was back on her feet, snarling and growling.

A sound that was a growl and a frustrated angry scream at the same time came out of her mouth, the sound of a real vampire. Her small body was shaking with anger, her hands balled into tight fists. Lexi's eyes glided over our faces, searching a spot to escape. She found none, I could read it in her eyes that she realized she didn't stand a chance against any of us. Not even against Edwards little pixie. We all had practiced fight training with each other for in case we had to defend ourselves. The closest she was to a fight and her knowledge of it was probably a fight movie she had seen. One with unrealistic moves where one guy takes out 10 other guys or a women fights off a bunch of men while she is tied to a chair. Lexi's eyes fixed back on me, narrowing as her murderous feelings increased. Edward and I cringed from her thoughts and feelings.

Suddenly the world ended. My world ended. My mind was only filled with one image. Her killing me and thoughts about it. I could only think about my death. I think I was blind. Well, not really blind. I could see the image in my head , which was more a film because she moved, I moved, she pulled my head off. It was as if my eyes were rolled back in my head and I could only see the horrible scene inside my head. The outside was shielded from me. All the emotions I would normally feel from my surrounding were gone too. I only felt fear and pain. Fear for the girl who ripped off every body part I had and pain because she did that. I was deaf too, only heard the screaming in my head. I wanted to scream because of the pain, but I couldn't. It stopped in the middle of my throat, my voice stuck to a point where I wasn't sure I had one. I couldn't move either. So this was how death felt. Death felt awful! I was dying, killed by the girl who had smelled so wonderful that it would become her death. I was dying! As if dying one time wasn't already horrible, experiencing it over and over was indescribably.

She killed me! She killed me! She killed me!

As suddenly as it came, it was gone too.

I gasped in shock: " She killed me!" I was on my knees with Carlisle knelt down beside me. Edward watched me with eyes the size of melons, horrified because I was killed.

" Jasper what happened?" Carlisle asked in a concerned voice.

" She killed me. She ripped of my head!" I wondered how it was so suddenly over and above all where it came from. I found the answer when I looked at Lexi. She was being restrained by Edward and Emmett. Emmett had wrapped his iron-like arms around her waist, holding her back so she couldn't bite Edward, but she was a newborn. Stronger than any of us, stronger than older vampires because blood still flew through the veins. She fought her way free, biting Edwards hand because he hadn't pulled it away fast enough and giving Emmett a head-butt. Before she could jump through the glass Edward tackled her down, grabbing her by her throat, his knees keeping her arms down. Emmett joined him. Together they managed to keep her under control. I stood back up, beyond pissed off.

" Lexi, please we don't want to hurt you. Please let us explain everything." Carlisle tried to reason her, a fruitless attempt.

She hissed: " There is nothing to explain!"

" Please Lexi, calm down. We really don't want to hurt you." Carlisle signed that Edward and Emmett had to let go off her. A sign that we meant no harm to her. She jumped back on her feet, but stayed where she was, no more attacks. Although she stayed alert, watching us with hawk eyes.

" I know this is very confusing for you. But were different. We don't feed on human blood, we survive on animal blood. You don't have to hurt anybody either." I could tell that she was relieved that she didn't had to hurt humans to survive.

Her voice was firm, strong when she spoke: " I have one question: Why did he changed me?" She asked pointing her finger at me. I changed her, so I owned her an explanation. Not that it would be a good reason, but she deserved to know why I had sunk my teeth in her neck.

" It was an accident. I honestly never planned to change you. I am the youngest vegetarian of our family, your blood was too tempting for me. Better than I had ever smelt. I lost control when I smelled you. I'm so sorry." I couldn't apologize more, but I knew she would never forgive me.

She snorted her red eyes almost bulging out of her head: " So actually it's my fault. You changed me because I was the best smelling dessert you had ever smelled?!"

I gave her a tired look: " It isn't your fault. It's mine. I couldn't control myself." She glared at me, a glare that would even bring Jane Volturi to her knees. That little thing was full of hate. I couldn't blame her.

" So now I am doomed because you couldn't control yourself?! Fantastic! Fan - fucking - tastic, stupid asshole!" Everybody ignored her behavior.

" Lexi would you please stay with us? We would like that you would become a part of our family."

She breathed in and out, to keep the anger from taking over her mind and body: " I don't have a choice, have I? If I go, I will kill and I don't want to hurt people only because it's in my nature. So I will stay until I can control myself enough but don't expect that I will talk to any of you don't force me neither because it will only end up bad, and above all keep him away from me or I will find a way to kill him!"

She put up an attitude to keep her us away from her, but I was determinate to help her as much as possible.

Lexi Nicole Brown was now part of the Cullen family.

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**So what do you think?**

**Leave a review please x**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's a short update I made because I got a little bored. **

**What do you think of Lexi? Can you guess her gift? It's a bit more complicated than illusions as the Cullens think.**

**You can also check out my other story ' Felix and Feliciana' about Felix's sister **

**Thank you!**

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Living together with Lexi wasn't something you did for pleasure. She was horrible. We had taken her to go hunting, she was getting wilder and wilder and we no longer could control her. We could miss another outburst like the one before. Edward and Emmett had accompanied her, because she had refused to be in my presence. It was understandable. Even when I was meters away from her I could feel the burning hatred in the air, it stung on my skin. She was uncertain because Edward and Emmett watched as she drank two deer. They had to show her how to do it. Emmett had made an attempt to talk to her, but all she did was hiss and look at him with hateful, burning eyes, so he backed off. Lexi was very emotional. An emotional storm raged inside her, she felt all these different emotions: hate, anger, fear, pain, sadness, insecurity, shame, distrust, despair. She was totally lost. Whenever she felt calm, it was because of me making her that way and it was faster over than I could blink. She didn't spoke, always glaring, growling and hissing to everybody who dared to talk to her.

Esme had decorated the attic in a day, making it look like a modern bedroom for Lexi to live in. Esme had asked what her favorite color was, what furniture she wanted but she replied growling ' I don't give a flying fuck'. It did hurt Esme that Lexi snapped at her. Eventually it became a beautiful room with walls in two different shades of purple with a white metal bed frame and a soft purple carpet draped on the light wooden floor. The headboard of her bed was surrounded by white roses that were actually lights. When it was dark, her room was lit by a dim light. Because she lived on the attic and the room spread itself over the entire length of our house, we made a walk in closet too and a small bathroom which had no door but was only separated with a glass wall. Lexi would skin everyone alive if someone came in and she was in the shower. Her words. Because her closet took a lot of space, there was only a shower in her bathroom. But a high tech version of it. It was more an open space, with black tiles and a rain shower with led light which could change colors. I only knew this information because Edward, Emmett and I had to help carry everything. I wasn't even allowed to come near the stairs that lead to Lexi's room.

While Lexi was busy with being an absolutely horrible person, her brother went crazy, demanding that the police should search every house in Forks. Ofcourse, they refused. Lexi was just a runaway, eventually she would show up again. At school, the rumors became more persistent. Lexi was abducted, Lexi had committed suicide and her body wasn't found yet, Lexi was murdered. They were all terribly wrong.

I didn't get used to the hateful feeling. It surrounded me everywhere I went. It made me sick. Lexi had been the subject ever since she was changed. It was more her possible gift. The gift of illusions. Edward had seen it, I had experienced it. We were absolutely sure she was gifted. She made me see my own death.

" Jasper what did you see? Describe it again." Carlisle asked for the tenth time. He wanted to be absolutely sure she was gifted, before he called Eleazar of the Denali coven.

I sighed: " I saw how she killed me by ripping off my head. But that wasn't the only thing. I couldn't move either and I felt only the pain she caused me. I only saw the scene in my head, my vision was shielded from the outside. It was impossible to scream because my voice was stuck in my throat and the only thing I could hear was my own screaming. It repeated itself over and over. It felt so real, I thought she was really killing me." I told the whole story, feeling slightly unconfutable by the thought of Lexi being gifted with the ability to create illusions. If it was true and if she learned to use it, I was pretty much doomed.

" I saw how powerful it was, it's strong. She's definitely gifted. She not only lets you see something, she adds certain things to match the illusion. Like pain and fear or blindness and deafness. We should call Eleazar so he could identify her ability." Edward said.

It was the second day she was awake, and she refused to come down. I heard her hissing upstairs as we talked about her.

Rosalie hissed back, making sure Lexi heard it: " I'm sick of miss freak's attitude. She's your problem, Jasper. Fix it! Someone should put her on her ass!"

A single growl was Lexi's answer.

I glared at her, very close to pulling out a handful of her blond hair.

" Rosalie enough. Lexi is now part of the family. She's in a difficult period. Remember how you were as a newborn." Esme said sternly, even when Lexi acted like this Esme defended her. Her heart was too kind. She loved too much.

I heard movement on the attic an later on the stairs. She was coming down. The next second she walked passed us all, ignoring us as if we were air. She wore her own clothes - refusing to wear Alice's expensive designer clothes -, a black skinny jeans, blue T-shirt and her all-stars. She had her leather jacket on, looking marvelous as always. She was marvelous, except her personality. That was ugly.

" You can't go to your brother, Lexi! It's too dangerous." Edward said to her, answering her private thoughts. Something exploded inside her, she turned around like a mad bull.

" I do what I want. I haven't seen him in five days! And it isn't dangerous, we've hunted this morning, assho-"

Edward interrupted her, not bothering the offending word she wanted to say: " You can't see him. You can't see anybody for at least a year. You would kill them. And even after that year you just can't show up out of nowhere. People will ask questions, everyone thinks you've run away."

Did Edward realized how close he was to being killed?

Lexi was silenced by shock: " Run away?"

The one thing we didn't tell her was now revealed, much to my disliking. It would only hurt her more, and I was the empathic, I would feel it too.

" We used your cellphone to send a text saying that you've run away."

Telling her the truth was so, so bad. Why did he do that?!

" What!" Lexi shrieked " What!"

O God, hell just broke loose. _Great job, Edward. You're so tactful_ I thought.

Lexi punched a hole in the creamy white wall and kicked away a table with a vase on it.

Esme cringed: " Lexi please…"

Edward grabbed her arm, trying to throw her on the ground but her hand grabbed his wrist and twisted it until his body was turned. She placed her foot against his back and send him flying. He made a soft landing on his own piano. The piano legs broke a soon as he landed. His favorite piano, ouch emotional pain!

" Where the hell did she learned that!" Emmett yelled. He and I were both in an instant at her side, trying to grab an arm. Emmett failed, but I got a good hold of it. I smacked her on the ground, but before I could pin her down I earned a foot in my face.

She jumped back up, facing us all. I knew that face, I recognized that type of anger and I knew what was coming.

I was dying. She was killing me. She snapped my head like a toothpick.

Pain.

Fear.

Pain.

Death!

My vision cleared and I saw my family on the ground, gasping in shock. She used it on them too. Even on Esme, who was slightly shaking. Nobody deserved that, except I.

" That's it. Like hell, that bitch is going down!" Rosalie growled, looking for Lexi.

She was gone.

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**I would appreciate a review. Thanks! x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Here's an new chapter. There is a Lexi pov in this chapter, because I needed it. But a Lexi pov will be quite rare.**

**Enjoy!**

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She was gone. Lexi was gone, disappeared while we were under the illusion of her killing us. I suspected that she went to her brother. Didn't she realize how dangerous it was? She would kill them. She could kill the entire town when she had one of her childlike tantrums. Eventually it would only lead to more pain. Pain I didn't want her to feel, she already suffered enough. I wished she would let me help her. Things might get easier then. For the both of us.

Lexi had demonstrated a nice fighting technique which she had learned from YouTube. The last two days she had spent watching videos of an Israeli Krav Maga dude. She learned from his videos, like how to pin someone's arm behind his back, chokeholds and arm and wrist locks. Ridiculous because the only way to learn, is to do it. I could learn her things but she wasn't planning on interacting with me. I had to admit watching her do her little stunt on Edward, made me slightly proud. The first step to combat had been set and with some adjustments those tricks - that were made as a defense against humans, not vampires - could be effective.

One of Esme's sharp sighs made me look at her. Poor women. She became also a victim of Lexi's freaky mind tricks. Esme didn't deserve this, neither did the rest of my family.

Eleazar had to come, he was needed.

" I'm going to pull her head from her body, see if she can still use her strange tricks. If I see her I'll punch her so hard that she will spontaneously lose her gift!" Rosalie snarled checking her body to see if any damage was done. She was pissed off beyond the usual.

" Babe, chill. Little Lexi can't be tamed." Emmett made a good attempt to calm down Rosalie. She scowled furiously.

" Chill?! Don't you realize how easily she can turn that illusion into reality? It's obviously she's too strong, she's something we can't handle. Even a blind guy can see that!"

" She's out of control. First she bites me and then she throws me into my own piano. My favorite one nota bene!" Edward muttered his eyes fixed on the scar above his thumb were Lexi had bitten him on their first meeting. He glanced at his piano. Too much damage, couldn't be repaired. Good!

" Boo - Hoo - Hoo! Join the club, Edward. You want an ice-cream, you big baby?" I couldn't help but feel irritated. My body was covered in scars, left behind by the newborns who tried to take me down. None of them who can re-tell the story. Did I complain? Actually yes, but only in my mind.

" We need to go to her brother. Where does she live?" Carlisle asked me. I shrugged, Alice was the one who had been in Lexi's house. I turned towards Alice, just in time to see her eyes become glassy. Edward stood next to her in an instant, a gentle hand on her shoulder.

" No no no no! Not good!" Alice whispered. Edward tensed, knowing the information before we knew it.

" What's going on?"

Alice spoke in a rush: " She's going to Port Angeles, to prove she's strong enough to resist human blood. It ends in a kill. A bloody one."

" Let's go!" Emmett barked.

" No, I'm going to go get her." I said and left, running into the woods. Determinate to drag her back to Forks.

* * *

Port Angeles was dark by the time I got there. A mysterious and quite sinister looking shadow covered the city. I was here with a purpose. Find a human and not kill him. I was going to prove I was strong enough to contain my thirst. They would all be dumbfounded. I was stronger than all those horrible suckers. I knew it would be hard. But I was desperate and determinate enough to make it work. I wanted to see my brother, hell, I even wanted to see Valeria who was irritating enough to even piss off the pope.

When I was nine, my parents' car crashed. Glass in my arms and face and stomach but I survived. My parents were the one who lost their lives. Despite I was only nine and I am a vampire with most of my human memories gone, I still remember it with painful clarity. My brother is the only family I have left, losing him too would be more devastating than anything else I've experienced in my life.

My thirst never disappeared, it dimmed at the most. I was cursed to live a life with an insatiable thirst. I've had plenty of time to think about my life. It was a bottomless pit of hatred, pain and thirst. I saw no advantages of my new life. I would forever have the feeling of a red-hot iron stick in my throat. I would never find a husband who worshiped me every minute of his life, because every men would be repelled of a sixteen year old girl whose life exists out of drinking blood. I would never see the wide toothless smile of my own child, because my body was forever frozen. All caused by one person.

Jasper Cullen.

Jasper Cullen was the demon himself. He bit me because I smelled good. I hated him with every cell in my body. I had the powerful urge to rip him apart. To hear him scream. To see the fear in his eyes as my grip on him would tighten. My hands were itching for it. One day I was going to do it. One day he would be alone, and helpless against me and my gift. He should fear the moment I have complete control over it.

They think I don't control my gift, but I know better. I don't control it very well to be honest but I feel it when I'm in the need to use it. And it just comes out of nowhere. Everyone who was in my eyesight experienced it. I never meant to use it on all the Cullens, it just happened. I can't say I regret it, because I don't. Except maybe on Esme and Carlisle, they weren't there when the… accident happened.

I not only hated him. I hated the whole family. Even though it weren't their teeth stuck in my neck. They were just as guilty by just watching me become a vampire. I couldn't help myself that I felt a rage for everyone.

I still shudder at the memories of the pain I felt. Being destroyed by fire and not being able to do anything. It was burning me slowly away and the only thing I could do was wait. I was never a patient person, but waiting until I would be a pile of ashes was horrible.

My ears heard the bombastic footsteps of two humans and I automatically began to follow the sound. My body became more tense with every step I took in their direction. I was preparing myself. Preparing to not attack them. They were in an alley, I don't know who they are but alleys are dangerous. No one was safe there. Not even gangsters.

I hid in the darkness across the street, observing them. I took a sniff in the air, but immediately regretted it. The flames in my throat flared up, begging me to give in. I wanted to give in. I wanted it so bad.

_Kill them! Do it! No more pain._

_No!_

My fingers sunk into the wall I leaned against, crushing pieces of cement. I stopped breathing, pressing my lips into a tight line. Keeping the venom inside.

I listened to their conversation. A manly aggressive voice demanding the girl to walk faster of he'll hurt her again. I could see a shiver running down her spine. Yet she dared to answer him. So wrong of her! He turned around and slapped her cheek hard, her cry echoing against the walls.

" You insolent child!" I didn't like this voice. Aggressive, not a grain of respect, not even just a little bit. He was her father I think.

Her face came into my view. I knew the girl. I'm supposed to know her. She felt vaguely familiar. Like I have known her for a long time. I tortured my brain, looking for a face like the one I saw now.

The man grabbed her throat, cutting of her air, and pushed her backwards. She fell on the ground, hitting her head hard. She didn't move anymore. Unconscious.

What was her name?

Eva?

Eve?

Ivy!

That's it. Filthy bastard! I rushed forward, letting my anger go. While grabbing him by his throat I slammed him against the wall. No more control over myself. Fuck control!

I felt an overwhelming rage. The need to kill. Violence was now part of my life and in some sick way I enjoyed it.

It was indeed Ivy's father. The memories were coming back. I had only seen him once, but that was enough to make me want to avoid him for the rest of my days in Forks. He looked like the abusive type but I never thought he was it. My fingers dug into the flesh of his throat, feeling the warmth against them, feeling the accelerated pulse of his heart. Blood ran along my arm into the sleeve of my jacket. He gagged, choking in his own blood. Unable to scream. I moved my fingers, literally ripping his throat open with my nails. I grabbed him before his body could hit the ground and placed my lips against the large open wound.

I enjoyed the blood more, know that I knew I had killed an abusive bastard and possibly saved Ivy's life.

Suddenly a force came out of nowhere and grabbed my throat with a death grip. My hand clawed at the persons hand in an attempt to release me. I had been in my own enchanting world of blood I didn't heard Jasper coming. He glanced briefly at the dead body.

He sighed: " Lexi, what have you done?!"

" I saved my best friends life!"

" You drank human blood!"

A humorlessly laugh escaped my lips: " He deserved it! And if I remember it correctly so have you - " Pain flashed over his face "- Look what you have created. An out of control newborn who doesn't want to walk on your leash! You hate me all!"

He looked shocked, surprised: " We don't hate you. We want to help you."

I chuckled. He released his grip on me, his hands sliding down my arms. For a moment I felt like everything that happened was gone. The touch, the feather light tingling on my arms combined with a warm almost fuzzy feeling as his hands slid over them. It feels almost right, loving. And so imaginary.

He took a step back, his expression almost frightening: " What do you want me to do, Lexi?! Are you going to torture me forever? I made a terrible mistake, one I can't fix. And I have to live with it for the rest of my fucking eternity! Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness on my knees, because I will do it!"

His fist hit the wall inches away from my face, releasing his fuming anger. I was taken back, startled. I didn't show him my terror, but it was definitely present within my body. O god, even feeling it wasn't save. He was an empath.

I swallowed, clenching my fists: " Here's the thing Jasper. I'm not a monster, like you think I am. Even if I wanted to forgive you I can't. I will never be able to do that!" I could see the hurt in his eyes, the pleading for forgiveness.

" Than let me help you! You want to learn how to fight right? I can teach you a lot. I even want to help you gain control over your gift. You can use it on me until you master it. I'll do anything!"

Pathetic!

" No!" I replied snarling " I only want to be able to fight because I fantasize about ripping you to shreds and I don't need any help with my gift! Who says I don't control it?!"

He dropped to his knees, like a wounded soldier: " Than kill me! I know you want to."

I was perplexed, utterly confused about his words. Was he crazy? Was he serious? How many times hadn't I fantasized about it? Of the satisfied feeling it would give me? My fingers twitched around his neck. I swallowed loudly, closing my eyes, trying to picture myself doing it.

I sighed and backed away. My voice was nothing more than a low, muted whisper: " I can't do it. I'm not monstrous enough. It would hurt your family."

I couldn't kill Jasper, even though I wanted to. Was I too weak to do it or too strong to don't do it? There was a painful, death silence, the only thing that could be heard was Ivy's strong heartbeat. I focused all my attention on him. It distracted me enough to not drain her on the spot.

For the first time I saw Jasper's beauty. He was blond, tall and lean and I could only imagine the abs hidden under his shirt. His skin was absolutely covered in scars, spaced most thickly together on his neck and jaw. All bites of vampires who most likely were dead, killed by him. How many vampires had tried to kill Jasper? Hundreds? Thousands? The same number that had died in the attempt. Most of his scars were situated in his neck and his jaw. I couldn't imagine that even a vampire survived so many sets of teeth ripping into his throat. His honey blond curls fell just above his collar. Despite those scars he was still model - like gorgeous. I couldn't deny that Jasper was very attractive, even my eyes agreed. In my personal opinion those scars didn't reduce his beauty. It was a sign, he was strong and manly. What most women want. I shamed myself to admit it, but it was including me.

I thought for a moment. He seemed desperate to fix his mistake and all he seemed to want was helping me.

" There is one thing you can do to make things easier for me."

He replied begging: " Anything!"

" Leave!"

" What?" He questioned.

" Leave the Cullens. It would be so much easier for me if I wasn't constantly reminded on the fact that the vampire who marked me for life lives in the same house as I do."

His face fell, dropping twenty degrees under zero. It was scary. It was obvious he cared for them. A lot.

" Let's go back home to Forks and bring Ivy home." His voice was cold, emotionless. I had clearly hit a nerve.

I nodded, Ivy had to get out of here before she would wake up and see her death father and me or before I would lose control again. Jasper went to grab her, but I was faster in front of her than a second could pass.

" Lexi, it's not a good idea for you to be near her. I can see how much it takes of you to don't drain her. Go back to the house and hunt. I'll bring her home safe and sound. I promise I won't hurt her."

How much I hated the idea of Ivy being this close to Jasper, he was right. I hadn't the control. Even if I managed to don't bit her I was sure I would break her in half with my strength.

My body fought against the idea, with great effort I stepped aside. Feeling vulnerably, Ivy was one of my weak spots.

I bit my lip: " Fine, but if you touch one tiny little hair on her head I won't hesitate to kill you. I will run back home and if you have hurt her prepare to die in my hands."

He nodded, understanding I wasn't joking.

" Are you here by car?" I asked, not wanting Ivy to get pneumonia.

" Yes."

" Okay, drive carefully please and don't you dare putting her in the trunk."

He nodded and took off with fragile - still unconscious - Ivy in his arms.

I glared deathly at Ivy's death father, spitting the thick venom that pooled inside my mouth on him.

I turned, walking away from the man I killed. Preparing to face the Cullens.

* * *

**Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes in it.**

**So have you enjoyed? I would love a review. Please leave one **

**xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the new chapter. With a Lexi and Jasper pov. I think it's clear who's pov it is. **

**What do you think of Lexi? What do you want to happen?** **What do you think is going to happen? **

**I have some ideas for this story. There will be action and drama in the following chapters but it will take some time.**

**Enjoy! And don't be scared to leave a review.**

* * *

The Cullen house was hostile territory for me. I felt slightly nervous. How would they react when they heard what happened in Port Angeles? With how much percent was their hatred towards me going to increase? And when was Jasper coming home?! I didn't trust him at all. I had some very good reasons too.

I wasn't a person who was always full of herself, but I think I did a pretty good job not killing Ivy. Her father, well, he deserved it. His death was actually more of my anger taking it over and not the thirst.

My worry about Ivy was so strong, I felt sick, wanting to go to her house. But I stopped myself from doing it, the last thing I wanted to do was killing her. I flinched from the thought. How would she react when she found out the truth? Her father was dead, murdered, laying in an alley in Port Angeles with his throat sliced open. The killer was known, it was only a matter of time before Ivy knew it.

_Don't be ridiculous! You are so to say runaway, nobody will ever find out! And certainly not Ivy. And besides nobody would even bother to look at dazzling looking Lexi. Lexi was innocent. Lexi couldn't kill a grown man._

I wasn't aware of the vampire storming towards me and I hadn't time to react. Rosalie - the blond goodness-like vampire - ducked under my defensive, swinging arm and grabbed a hold of my head, her hands on each side of it. The force became stronger each millisecond her hands were on the side of it. The moment she grabbed a hold of me I started thinking what I had to do. I had to get out of her grip and fast or I wasn't going to live through this. I was a newborn, strong as hell. I would crush her.

Who was she to attack me?! Who was she to even try it?! She knows what can happen!

For the moment I was the strongest one, the one who could crush vampires like Emmett without blinking, but I knew my newborn strength would vanish once I was a year old. It was mentioned a couple of times. The Cullens were looking forward to it, the moment I was no longer physically stronger than them. And then I would have to rely on something else than strength. Possibly my gift, if I managed to control it consciously. The idea of Jasper being - willingly - my victim was… tempting. I needed someone to practice on, and why not on somebody who killed me?

The Cullens could all fight, even Alice and I was a taller than her. Not that much, but still. I wanted to learn it too. YouTube and Google said that it isn't all about strength but about skill and technique. Strength was definitely an advantage in a fight. And I had a lack of skill and technique too. But I could learn, I already knew how to pin someone's arm behind his back and to lock a wrist in a very painful way, but I doubted that it would work on a vampire. I needed to find a teacher, a real one. One where I hadn't the urge to rip him or her apart.

My right arm grabbed hers, my nails clawing in her skin and I stepped away from her as much as her grip allowed it. The next thing that happened was Rosalie thrown off balance, flipped over my shoulder and laying on the ground.

I was on top of her as soon she wanted to get back up, smashing her face with my fists.

" You messed with the wrong bitch, blondie!" I snarled, cruel excitement spreading over my face.

_Rosalie was going to have so much pain!_

_Rosalie was going to scream for mercy! _

_Rosalie was going to die! _

She managed to push me of her, sending me crashing to the ground a couple of meters away. I snarled lively at her.

Rosalie and I met each other in mid-air, the sound of two rocks crashing to together ringing merciless in the air and I was determinate to send her head rolling across the Cullens their yard. I was angry beyond believable, my power swelling inside me, ready to kick in. I was ready to let it go when a wave of calmness crashed over me, suppressing my anger and with that my gift. Rosalie should praise herself lucky.

Jasper was back.

My hands were clenched tightly together, afraid if I opened them I would wring them around Rosalie's neck, which I wanted really, really bad. Her black eyes were staring at me with such an intense hate I could almost feel it burning on my flesh. I smiled defiantly at her.

_Come on Rosalie, give me a reason to rip you apart. _

Edwards head cocked my side, glaring at me for having such thoughts, and blocking me view so I couldn't see her anymore.

Jasper was next to me in an instant, keeping a tight hold on my upper arm. I was too fixed on Rosalie to care but I felt the tingling and the warm fuzzy feeling on my arm again. What was that feeling? And why did I liked it?

Rosalie was held back by Emmett who gave me a dark look. I looked back, just as dark as he did.

" Don't look at me that way, Emmett. I didn't jump her, maybe you should keep your bitch under control!"

Rosalie snarled, trying to step away from Emmett's iron embrace. Jasper tightened his grip, his fingers pinching my skin to a point I could feel them on my bones. It didn't hurt though.

" Lexi, stop this!" Jasper said, his voice soft and still hurt from the words I had said in Port Angeles.

I turned around, looking straight into his eyes so I could detect any possible lies: " Fine! Is Ivy home again?"

His eyes were the most beautiful, liquid gold that I had ever seen. The gold taking over what I guess had been once a chestnut brown or a forget-me-not blue. Anyway, his eyes were just pretty. Mine were just terribly red. I look like a freaking albino. I couldn't wait until mine would be the same beautiful liquid gold.

He nodded: " Yes, I brought her home, her mother was on the edge of calling the police. She woke up just as I was about to drive into the street where she lives."

The relief I felt was overwhelming. Ivy was safe and Jasper hadn't hurt her. Should I thank him? If I thanked him, he could see it as a first step on the way to forgiveness and it wasn't. Or was it?

I sighed heavy, murmuring a silent 'thank you'.

" She asked a lot of questions. I just said I have seen her on school and I found her laying on the street unconscious so I brought her home. No bad intentions."

I nodded briefly, pleased with the answer he had given her.

I straightened my back and started walking towards the house, wanting to take a shower to clean the dried blood under my nails and the blood that stick to my arm.

I had to pass the Cullens. Rosalie looked like she wanted to see me burn on a stake with my head on a silver plate. I ignored her easily.

Emmett looked like I had ruined the non-existing, friendship between us.

Alice, well, Alice looked like Alice, watching the clothes I wore with a look of distaste. And disappointment of what had happened.

Edward was his usual self, but the look he gave me was one of pity. I was of the rails and I couldn't get back on.

Esme and Carlisle gave me a disappointed look, which made me feel bad. I didn't know why, but it did. And not a little bit, they looked at me like I had stabbed them with a knife in their back.

Even though I had completely shut myself off of any emotions, they seemed to touch something in me. I didn't like it.

* * *

The whole story of what happened in Port Angeles shocked my family, ofcourse I left out a couple of thing that had been said.

" When is Eleazar coming?" Edward asked

" He said he and Carmen will arrive around sunrise." Carlisle replied. I could tell he was disappointed in Lexi. The way she acted towards all of us was beginning to take its toll. Even Carlisle who was always so kind and compassionate was losing faith in Lexi.

" Finally! Maybe he can give us come clarity about her gift."

" Are Tanya and the rest coming too?"

" No, they decided they wouldn't come. But they are planning on visiting us soon."

Lexi appeared on top of the stairs, dressed in her usual clothes. My eyes fixed on every detail of her. Her long damp hair, her face, her body, her smell.

Lexi's beauty was dazzling, superb and brilliant. Even considered breathtaking. Physically, she attracted me so much. Her beauty was way to pleasant for my eyes. Every time I caught myself thinking about her in a way I shouldn't. And every time Edward and Alice looked at each other with a grin and a look in their eyes that showed they knew something nobody else did.

Lexi's almost wet, deep sweet, warm scent from when she was human was gone, but it was still the best scent I had ever smelled. The warm vanilla was gone, just like the lilies and the fresh lime and mandarin. What was left of her old scent was adapted. The white musk surrounded her now without being to overpowering, the peppermint provided a touch of freshness. The caramel made sure her smell wasn't just seductive and fresh, it was there with a purpose, adding depth and warmth in her scent. To finish it, the roses were only smellable when she was near you and you took a deep sniff.

" Who's coming?" She demanded.

" Eleazar and his mate Carmen of the Denali coven. They're like us, we consider them family." Carlisle said, not looking at her.

" Why?" The hostility in Lexi's voice made clear she wasn't too keen on meeting new vampires.

" Eleazar has a gift of his own. He can identify the supernatural gifts of other vampires. He comes to see you."

Lexi looked questioningly at us but decided it wasn't interesting enough and disappeared to the attic again.

* * *

It was seven o'clock when the rescuing knock on the door of Eleazar and his mate echoed through the house.

Hallelujah, praise the lord.

Esme opened the door, welcoming our guest with her usual warm smile: " Eleazar, Carmen welcome. It's so good to see you again. Come in."

Eleazar and Carmen greeted everyone, but one particular member was missing.

" Lexi would you please come down?" Carlisle asked her politely, hoping she wouldn't be rude towards our guests. Or try to kill them.

She sighed deeply, letting us know she was doing this against her will. Her steps where at a human pace, coming down the stairs oh so slowly. Her face looked bored, any sign of interest missing.

She stood next to me, still a couple of steps away, but relatively close to me.

" Lexi I want you to meet Eleazar and his mate Carmen." Carlisle said, eyeing her as a sign to shake ours guest's hands on a civilized way.

" Pleasure." She replied boring, her eyes examining her shiny nails.

Carlisle shared a look with Eleazar, one that said he shouldn't pay attention to her behavior.

" So you are the Cullens their newest member. It's a pleasure to meet you, Lexi." She looked away from her nails, observing Eleazar.

" Look, you're here for my gift, do your thing, catch up with the Cullens, but leave me alone." Lexi was straightforward. A little rude but straightforward.

" Yes, I will do my thing, miss Lexi."

Eleazar took a step closer to Lexi which made her uncomfortable and wary. As soon as he took a step forward, he had five steps taken back, taking Carmen with him, placing his body defensively in front of hers.

" Mi dulce, what's wrong?" Carmen asked, sort of demanded.

He gasped, clearly shocked. We were all tensed up, nobody really trusted what was going to come.

" Eleazar! What is it? Is she an illusionist?"

He looked at Lexi who just stood there, looking glorious and strained.

" She is! But a hole other type!"

Curiosity rolled off of everyone. What was so special about Lexi, that made Eleazar so frightened, prepared to fight?

" Tell us!"

" She's not a normal illusionist. There's only one illusion she can create, the one of death! Her gift is death illusion!"

O God. Death stands literally beside me.

* * *

**So what do you think?**

**Leave a review**

**X**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 is up! Hope you like it**

**What do you think of Lexi's gift, powerful enough? There are some Lexi pov's on their way, I hope you like her view on things.**

**I have this plot in my head, but I would love to hear what you think is going to happen in the following chapters. Maybe I can use some ideas ;)**

* * *

Things were messed up. Everything was messed up.

" What do you mean with dead illusion?"

Confusion, a strong emotion that rules the Cullen house at his moment. I looked at Lexi, she just stood there watching everyone carefully to anticipate in case of any future-attacks. I could feel she hated it to be the main subject. All eyes were staring at her.

Eleazar was still in front of Carmen, protecting her with his body. If only he knew her illusion could spread itself. Shielding Carmen with his body was useless, if Lexi held a strong hatred against you she used it anyway. No escaping possible.

" She creates an illusion of death, deceives you with it!" Eleazar explained, his lip slightly pulled over his teeth in a snarl. His eyes held a strong hatred and fear. They screamed 'kill her'

I had to stop myself from snarling. I didn't like the idea that somebody saw Lexi as an enemy. It brought out the defensive in me, the urge to protect her against traits. Lexi was a sensitive subject for me.

Edward snorted : " Can't you see it? She has used it on all of us. Now think about what you've felt during that horrible scene. She kills the victim in his own mind, making him see his own death. The physical body is left in a vegetative, but alive state. You feel fear and pain as her illusionary self, kills you. You're paralyzed, unable to use any of your senses and your gift. You become shielded from the outside and the only thing you know is your own death. Over and over and over!"

I didn't feel so great, knowing Lexi was that powerful. I had volunteered for her to use her gift on me, thinking she could create other illusions like a peaceful field of beautiful flowers or a bright sunset. But apparently the only thing she could do was killing the minds of others. Fantastic.

I glanced at her, she looked smug, knowing the potential she had was incredible. She turned her head and met my gaze, her red eyes sparkling slightly as she looked at me and her lips pulled up in a sweet yet evil smile. She remembered my words.

" Eleazar how strong is she? We already know more than one person gets affected."

Eleazar grabbed Carmen's wrist, backing away a little more: " Strong! Everyone who is in her view gets probably affected. She holds great power. Keep her away from Aro, he will want her more than anything!"

With those words he and Carmen fled our house.

Lexi grinned: " Oh wow, this is one of the few times I'm actually innocent."

We all ignored her, there was a lot to think about. Lexi needed control over her gift, something she doesn't have at the moment. But with control comes practice. She needed someone to practice on. The reason why she was so content was clear. She had found her puppet to practice on.

" So when is gift training going to start?" she asked sheepishly, blinking with her long dark eyelashes.

I wasn't comfortable with the thought. But it was Lexi, I couldn't refuse if she asked me. I wasn't sure if I could refuse her anything. I had put her through all this pain and I would do anything to help her. So if that meant I would suffer my dead a couple of times and it would gain Lexi control, than I would gladly help her. Although I had to suppress the shiver running down my spine when I thought about it.

" Soon, I'm going to help you." I replied. She smiled at me, a smile that made my knees weak. Bright, beautiful and absolutely not with good intentions.

She clapped her hands: " Fantastic." In a flash she was back on the attic, watching her fight movies on YouTube again.

* * *

I gritted my teeth to prevent myself from growling at Lexi. It was my primal instinct to do it. My mind recognized Lexi as the threat who causes me severe, excruciating pain. My instinct said I should rip her to shreds and burn her because she does that to me too. But I couldn't. Not Lexi.

The thought of a dead Lexi - deader than she was now - was enough to make me want to kill the person who would even consider it. My mind reacted viciously to it.

She looked innocent at me, but under the surface I know she was laughing out loud. She enjoyed my pain, but once again it was what I deserved. I had once enjoyed something of her too. The memory of how she had tasted, the explosion of the most heavenly taste ever in my mouth, created a desire in my throat. I ignored it the best I could.

It was day one of Lexi's training and the fifth time she used her gift on me. Lexi's gift was triggered by anger, the primal rage to do others harm and thus keeping herself safe. It wasn't hard to make Lexi outraged, very easy to do so. Come near her and she was angered. Touch her and she was angered. The list went on and on. But anger wasn't a source she should use. The whole point of this exercise, my pain, was to gain control and when you were outraged control was the last thing you thought about. No, Lexi needed another source where she could put strength out.

Lexi's illusion stayed the same, every time the same scene replayed itself in my head. Edward's theory was that the illusion adapted to the person she used it on.

" Lexi, I don't think anger isn't the right way to trigger your gift."

She arched a dark, well-shaped eyebrow: " Why not? Anger makes people strong, fierce!"

" It's not the right way!"

The illusion came back, delivering a fatal blow. I was over after a few seconds, my body resting on the ground in a fruitless attempt to shake the pain away.

" You see Jasper, I already have control. What anger isn't good for."

* * *

A week had passed and Lexi already had a relatively great control over her gift. Ofcourse, there was always room for improvement. Anger was her source and it seemed to work after a week of intense, hour lasting trainings. Where it took others decades, even centuries to keep their gift under control, it took Lexi a week.

It was the week Eleazar had called us to inform that it was better to break contact with the family for a while. It was just a more polite way of telling us that they didn't want to see us anymore until we had dumped Lexi.

Dumping Lexi was out of the question.

It was also the week Lexi and I had a major battle.

Lexi said she had enough control and decided to stop the trainings. I still stick to the point anger wasn't the right way.

Lexi thought she was strong enough to give being around humans another try. She wasn't, not in her state. Luckily, we had talked it out of her head.

Lexi was thirsty and extremely moody because she had to go hunting with me. But she didn't threw a tantrum.

Lexi ran away once we were in the forest, running south were a group of deer was waiting for her. She was fast, one step of her was equal to two steps of me. I thought it was harmless. I was so terribly wrong.

The wind turned, blowing right in our faces, revealing the scent of a hiker near the border of Canada. Lexi tensed up, eyes crazy, lips pressed into a thin line, a pained look on her face. She stood perfectly, beautifully still. My nerves threatened to snap.

And then she let out a tortured scream and started to run towards the scent.

I couldn't follow her, her newborn strength taking her further and further away from me. Her delicious scent blowing in my face. Eventually she was out of my sight.

" Lexi!"

By the time I got to the mountain to save that hiker's life, Lexi was already halfway. Her fingers clawing into the rocks, driving her further to the hiker. She looked at me and started to climb faster. I couldn't get there on time. My own speed and determination took me in an impossible speed upwards the mountain. But I was too late.

I heard a deep scream, coming out of a man's throat. My nostrils flared at the smell of the delicious blood, spilled by Lexi. I hissed out, a weak attempt to suppress the pain in my throat and the desire to join Lexi on her blood drinking party.

" Lexi, no!" I roared, making her turn her body so her eyes were on me. Her teeth dug deeper into the man's neck, watching me with a vicious hunger in her eyes as I came closer.

The man didn't move anymore, Lexi's arms keeping him pressed tightly against her body. She lifted her head and dropped the man's body making it fall of the mountain. It hit the ground with a thud.

Her mouth was crystal red, her lips shining with blood. The idea of my tongue running across them was driving me crazy. She was a messy eater, all newborns were. A little blood spatter stick to the slightly purple bags under her eyes. She lifted her shaking right hand, bringing it to her mouth. Shock. She was shocked. This man she had killed was innocent. Ivy's father had been violent, but this man didn't deserve his death.

She started sobbing, sinking to the small mountain path. My hand went to comfort her in soft, rubbing circles on her back but she growled animalistic, grabbing the collar of my shirt and bringing me off balance. We fell together off the mountain. My hands were around her neck, keeping her snapping teeth away from my face. Her back hit the ground first, leaving it with a Lexi shaped dent. My hands grabbed her wrists before she would poke my eyes out with her long nails.

Her legs wrapped around my waist in a bone crushing grip, using every ounce of her newborn strength against me. My mind thought about this particular pose in a book named the Kama Sutra. I banned the heavy sexually tinted image out of my head.

_Not with Lexi! Not with Lexi! _

I could feel a few bones snap but I refused to let her go because of the pain. My own teeth snapped at her as a warning to stop this ridiculous fight.

" Stop it, Lexi!" She furiously shook her head " Stop it!"

Her body went still, her struggling stopped when she realized she was better off not fighting.

" I killed him. I killed an innocent man!" Her voice was shaky, hurt, like a wounded little animal.

" I know." I simply said, there was no point in ignoring her killing because it couldn't be ignored.

" You know!" She shrieked, my eardrums protesting against the awfully loud sound.

" Lexi, you can't go on with this… behavior. Let us help you. Let us help you become controlled."

She refused to look into my eyes. " Leave." She whispered.

My whole body went cold. She asked me to leave my family. The ones who helped me through a difficult period of my life. Who saved me from a destiny filled with pain and killing. To turn my back on them. The thought brought me almost to my knees and there was a sharp pain in my chest that I couldn't suppress.

Lexi was in pain. Her small body filled with that powerful emotion she couldn't handle. I will take her pain away.

My face was hard, my tone harsh. I couldn't help it." You're filled with so much hatred and pain. It's enough, I've done all I could think off. But I will do one last thing. I will leave my family."

It was better I was in pain than Lexi. The last thing I wanted was to see Lexi in pain. I was used to pain, my whole life I've known pain. The thought of a peaceful Lexi brought also peace to my mind.

Lexi was worth it. Lexi was worth to suffer for. I would do anything for her.

I stood up, not looking at Lexi: " Go back to the family. We will take care of the body."

She stared at me, chewing on her lip. She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something but closed it again.

She gave me one last look, watching me with surprise and something that resembled guilt. Her emotions were a mess. But one thing I felt clearly: regret.

It was too late for regret.

Tonight I would leave my family.

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**I would love a review. Thank you **

**x**


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